Do You Know How To Kiss?
Snog, suck face, pash, mush. Call it what you will, a kiss can take a relationship to the next level or reduce it to zero, depending on how well you do it...
Never underestimate the power of a kiss.
Theory has it that we sum a person up within the first five minutes of meeting them. It's the same with a kiss. We sum up the staying-power of potential new partners within five seconds of that first kiss. Many a potential new bed partner has been given their marching orders after discovering that those beautiful bedroom eyes don't belong to the same package as the lips that belong down the toilet. After all, if your kissing mate hasn't mastered the art of kissing what hope is there for, ahem, anything else?
So, what makes a good kiss, and better still, a good kisser? Given that "How to Kiss #101" is not required reading at Elementary School, we've assembled our comprehensive guide about how to kiss. Read, learn, practice and enjoy!
How to Kiss
- Relax. Remember to breathe. Save the panting desire for a little later, once you've both warmed up. It's also a good time to remember that human beings need to draw breath. If you can't breathe through your mouth because it's being used for something else, make sure you can still breathe through your nose. That applies to your kissing partner as well. Don't mistake that rapturous swoon for passion - you've probably just cut off your lover's airflow.
- Concentrate. Try to think about nothing but the kiss and how it's making you feel. Second base and a home run may be on the agenda but put them to the back of your mind and make your stay on first base as enjoyable and intoxicating as possible. Kiss your partner like there was nothing you would rather be doing right then and there. Closing your eyes helps concentration, but you may prefer to keep them open to see what's going on.
- Technique. Forget about technique, what worked for your last kissee may not work with this one. Hands are great but remember they're only hands, not tentacles. Use them in an expressive, tender and non-sexual way. Hold your partner's face while you kiss, caress the back of their neck or gently stroke their hair.
Start with your mouth either closed or partly open. Relax your lips, but don't make them mushy. Introduce a little tongue, with the operative word being little.
- Variety. Variety is the spice of life, so adjust the pressure of your kiss, from light and playful to hot and heavy. Take a break from your pash and give your partner a big hug, playfully kissing their ears, neck or cheek while you hold them tight. Lightly nibble on their bottom lip.
- Big No-No's Bad breath is a major turnoff. So is bad dental hygiene. Clean your teeth well if you know you're likely to get involved in a major smooching session. Mouth wash is great too, particularly if you've been eating garlic, onions, Polish salami or anything that leaves your mouth tasting like yesterday's leftovers.
Spit is also going to raise the "uuurgh" flag. Try to keep your mouth dry and your saliva manageable. Of course, using your tongue (we'll be talking more about that in the French kissing section) is sure to introduce the spit factor. The best advice to help overcome excess saliva is to keep your lips relaxed but relatively tight.
Exploring your lover's tonsils with your tongue is NOT the best way to ensure a return visit. Using your tongue is fine, but it's the tip of your tongue that yields all the sensitivity. Playing tonsil hockey is a definite no-no.
Remember you're trying to kiss your partner, not menace a cooked lamb bone. Gently moving your head while you're kissing passionately is OK, but you don't need to unscrew your lover's neck with your gyrations.
Clashing teeth, or better still braces, is sure to raise a laugh, not your passion factor. Even the most ardent of kisses does not have to involve burrowing into your lover's mouth cavity. The best way to avoid clicking teeth is to remember you're not gnawing your partner, you're kissing them.
How to French Kiss
Start by setting the scene, make sure the mood and time are just right. It's also a good idea to know the person you're about to French kiss. Engaging a woman you met ten minutes ago in the bank queue in a passionate French kiss is likely to result in a passionate French slap. It's been said a million times, but knowing and loving the person you're about to kiss raises the stakes and the thermometer dramatically.
Relax and let go of any tension in your neck and shoulders. Start slowly with a gentle kiss and build up gradually. Once you've engaged your partner's lips, gently open your mouth and encourage them to open theirs by softly nudging their mouth with your tongue. Or try softly touching their lips with the tip of your tongue.
Choosing to open or close your eyes is up to you. It can be fun to open your eyes mid-kiss to gauge the reaction of your sweetheart, or check to see if they've got their eyes open too. Kissing with your eyes open is the sensual equivalent of making love with the lights on, so give it a go.
Slowly move your tongue inside the other person's mouth, playfully touching their tongue with yours. Use the tip of your tongue (yes, only the tip) to explore their mouth. Open your mouth a little wider than you would for a normal kiss but not so wide you start introducing excess saliva. Anyway, after a while having your mouth open too wide starts to feel uncomfortable - a little like being in the dentist's chair for too long with a mouth guard in place.
Be aware of how your partner is reacting. If they seem tense and try to pull away, stop what you're doing. If their ardor increases, you know you're on the right track.
Slowly increase the passion and intensity of your kiss and playfully engage in exploring each other's lips, mouth and tongue. Move your tongue round and about, side to side, clockwise, anti-clockwise, whatever feels good.
Remember with French kissing less is more. Try not to prolong the kiss for too long because one of two things will start to happen. Your tongue will tire or your partner will tire of your tongue.
And always end a French kissing session with a tender, soft ending kiss. Wait a few minutes, then start the whole process all over again, and again, and again.
Oh, with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning
And butterfly kisses at night.
Excerpt from a song by Bob Carlisle
People have varying opinions about what a butterfly kiss really is. Some consider them to be the ones you blow off your hand while others believe them to be very soft, gentle kisses placed all over the face and neck. Butterfly kisses are supposed to resemble the feeling of a butterfly's wings gently brushing your skin.
Whatever you consider them to be, butterfly kisses are a joy to give and receive. Having your nose, cheeks, forehead, ears and neck brushed with loving gentle kisses is a sure way to win approval and lots of loving in return.
Learning how to kiss is one of the best activities you can try. It certainly beats the heck out of learning to crochet.
Choosing the right instructor is half the fun. Maybe you could try making a game out of who is the teacher and who is the pupil, and of course, plenty of revision classes would be necessary until you get the perfect pash.
Just remember that the art of kissing has been around for centuries, and that it's not to be taken too seriously. Just sit back, or stand up, (whatever gets you going), relax and enjoy!
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